How to communicate clearly and competently when defending yourself in a divorce case. This blog provides you an: Example defense in a Divorce Case in central Switzerland to support you towards success in your case.
Disclaimer: I am not a divorce lawyer or officially qualified to give legal advice of any kind. All content that you write, using these templates MUST be reviewed by YOU and a lawyer.
I AM a writer and qualified communication specialist with 7+ years of experience in writing court submissions in Switzerland. In my experience, it makes a lot of sense to have your own clear thoughts and perspectives written down before consulting a lawyer that can cost from 150 - 500 CHF per HOUR... just for sitting down with them and talking, not to mention then writing your case documents and submitting them to court!
It's not easy!
Maybe you have an ex that is more experienced than you in legal and financial matters? In some very difficult cases, the ex may even have an aggressive personality and uses unwarranted legal attacks. Of course this is extremely overwhelming and, if you're an expat, like me, it's even more time consuming in a foreign language to understand and learn everything you need to know. On top of all the legal conflict you have children to care about and a job to do...not to mention your own need for rest and personal health!
Tip #1 - Save time and stress - Use this tested, successful template
Why write everything from scratch? Templates are examples of documents with a framework of information inside. They help you to know WHAT KIND OF INFORMATION you need to include to communicate the right thing at the right time and to the right audience.
This template has an Example defense in a Divorce Case in central Switzerland with generally successful defense statements and supplementary information that focus on the well-being of the children. In this case the plaintiff continued attacking the integrity of the mother and the legal guardian, so this defense shows how the mother focuses on the needs of the children, collaborates with teachers, therapists and the legal guardian of the children to make sure the children can be successful in life, society and school.
EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT. THIS IS JUST A GUIDELINE AND YOU NEED TO READ IT CAREFULLY AND MAKE ADJUSTEMENTS FOR YOUR CASE.
Example clauses in a divorce agreement HERE in German:
Use deepl.com to translate it, if needed.
THEN GET IT CHECKED BY A LAWYER!
BEFORE AGREEING TO EMPLOY THE LAWYER ASK APPROXIMATELY HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE FOR THEM TO DO IT. IF THE LAWYER CANNOT GIVE AN APPROXIMATE QUOTE, NO PROBLEM. ASK ANOTHER LAWYER ;)
TRANSPARENCY SHOWS INTEGRITY AND BUILDS TRUST.
Tip #2 - Find trustworthy people to talk to about the right things at the right time
I know it's really frustrating and stressful. My experience has taught me that people here only feel able to help, when they know exactly what you need. They don't do empathy or needs-perception very well...
A lawyer is not a friend or therapist. The lawyer's focus is getting your statements down on paper in the correct format according to court requirements.
In times of trouble it's always good to have or go and find a good support network where you can vent about problems. Join facebook groups, and meet up with other people who are in the same situation and need to vent, too.
But also create friendships that help you relax, feel as secure as possible and look towards a more healthy and positive future . Sometimes we don't have the trusted family and friends around us that we know from childhood, but there are others out there who can build friendships here for fun and connection, too - You just need to find your vulnerable side again, and put your hand up.
Just know that not everyone is willing or able to share time, and that's OK. You can move on and keep looking with the knowledge that there ARE potential friends out there. There is a way forward. There is always light at the end of the tunnel:
"Holding on is believing that there's only a past; letting go is knowing that there's a future."
Tip #3 - Your conscience and voice are powerful tools for forming the future
I've also learned, as a result of my years of experience, that my own voice is very powerful, and what I want is valid. I just have to dig deep into myself and figure out what that is. When we speak our true authentic feelings from a place of vulnerability and caring, we create space for others to step up and offer help.
It's just a process that doesn't happen over night.
Love the journey and never give up looking for what you know in your heart is truly good for you 💗
Tip #4 - Keep your true authentic focus
The difficult times are also there to help us grow stronger and wiser.
What helped me is shifting the focus from me and my difficulties to the children and their fundamental needs: Physical and emotional health and safety; Strong, supportive family and friends; Education and support to achieve to the best of their ability according to their strengths; Stable and healthy meal times; Stable and healthy sleep routine; and free time for relaxation and hobbies etc.
Keeping this main focus helped me to filter out any gaslighting or struggles from anyone.
It gave me peace of mind that, no matter how badly my kids felt while I was away, my strength, support and focus on their fundamental wellbeing was the balancing side on the scales.
💀 ⚖️ ❤️
Hold on.
There IS a purpose and meaning to it all.
Good communication is a game-changer
Check out my blog series on "Intimate Monologues", a series of insights in to voicing your authentic perspective and needs.
Authentic and effective communication is a game changing tool in maintaining good relationships; and in conflict situations with children involved, it's even more important.
During divorce, there's so much at stake and the way we communicate has the power to heal and provide safety for everyone.
If you need support with writing concrete, detailed documents, reach out to me for a more detailed template.
Or get in touch to see if a half day workshop, that results in the concrete, divorce document you need, is right for you.
And feel free to leave a comment below...